meximick's Diaryland Diary

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Holidays are overrated

I was going to write about someone who has been on my mind, but out of my life for a long time. Instead I'll write about someone who has not been on my mind, but who has been out of my life for a long time.

My sister-in-law invited my mother to Thanksgiving this year. Neither my brother (whose family I live with), nor myself have spoken to my mother in over a year and a half. She never replied to my email that I got into grad school. She didn't respond to my multiple voicemails. I'm in counseling partially as a result of her, and my desire to never put my issues with her on anyone I work with.

So after no attempts to reach out to me, apparently she has cultivated a relationship with sis-in-law, and recently after a letter wherein she said nice things, was invited to Thanksgiving this year. I was not ready for this. This is my sis-in-law's hamfisted attempt at forcing some sort of reconciliation, and I hate it. And there's nothing I can do or say about it. Forgiveness is a choice and I'm not choosing. I'm beyond asking why we fell out. I was moving toward acceptance of the way things were. Betrayal is the feeling I'm getting from this.

Session on Monday w/ Dr. Smith. Lots to talk about.


11:45 p.m. - 2008-10-16

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