meximick's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- My Brain Hurts. And My Ass As Well. Seriously, why so serious all a sudden? I mean it's not like I take life too seriously all the time. I mean, what's with me after all? And all this thinking has made me tired. The sales manager's secretary is out on yet another vacation day she does not have, but it's all right no doubt because she's friends with the manager's wife. Been here since last December, yet has taken over 2 weeks of vacation days. Oh, and I hear she's going to Paris next month. Oh, and she's dumb as a post! And I haven't been drunk in a while now. Had a few beers now and again. But have not gotten drunk as was my wont in quite a while. I think it's lost it's novelty. Not the drinking itself, but who I drank with. I spend much more time, obviously, with the girl because she's got great skin tone, laughs at my stupid jokes, and lets me touch her ass (which Lord knows I'm thankful for). She doesn't usually care for lots of drinking. But the last month, Mark has been busy. Out with his ex leading up to her trip abroad. She left last week. We haven't connected in a while. I'll bet he thinks it's me to blame, and I think it's both me and him. I have been spending time out of the apartment, as he predicted, because I met this supercool chick, thereby leaving him and Mike out. Mike has been hanging out at the girl's place recently, helping them move in, arranging their stuff, hooking up their A/V stuff. He's handy. Smart as a chimp, he is. But Mark's been doing his own thing, going out with friends. I used to go too. But I suppose in the separation, I've found that I don't especially miss staying out until late or drinking at home. It's lost it's appeal - and shit, I used to enjoy it not a little bit, too! I need to get my spending straightened out. I'm going to put myself on a budget, which will surely suck like few things have sucked before, but I have to pay off some of my bills. And it's not all a transformation to 'the responsible guy', because I'm not an intelligent consumer, by any account. I do live beyond my means. But does thinking about getting my life in order (even after having done it countless times before) make me want to hang out with Mark less than before? Does that make me more mature? Less fun? Maturity in my mind, is not fun. It's nothing I've ever aspired to become. I enjoy consequence-free based living, or at least the idea of it. But not as much as before, I suppose. And as much as I want to like cheese, I can't. It's all bad milk to me. Oh, and I hate cheese too. Can you beat that shit?! I'm a fucking freak all right. No! So less than a week before my best friend moves across the country, I have mixed emotions. I don't want to enable his behavior (there's some fucking maturity for you), but I don't know how else to connect with him. 3:49 p.m. - 2001-09-10 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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