meximick's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- New roommate angst. And I feel like laying down right about now... Why has my life become so complicated allasudden? And why do I feel like I'm the asshole for seeing things the way I do? Backtrack - Sunday. The New Roommate(NR). I was at home, watching the US Open final, wondering whose clothes were in the bag on the couch, when Mike and New Roommate arrived, fresh from Ace Hardware, clutching bags of painting supplies. They decided to "bust out" the living room and hallway that day because as NR stated to me, "Mike said you wouldn't be here." I was surprised, and not necessarily enthused. Weeks ago, on the subject of painting, I suggested to Mike we use white (0)-Snow White on the common walls. They chose beige (40 -Beige gray light. And it's not so much the color as it is that I was left out of this decision.... Backtrack - Last week. I answered the phone. It was NR. As with most non-bill-collections callers, I made small talk, asking about her weekend and such. She said, "I had such a crazy weekend, I'll tell you all about it later. Is Mike around?" And I passed the phone to him, where he proceeded to talk with her for at least an hour. Up to now, they've been chatting on the phone for I'd estimate, at least 5 hours every week. And no! It's not that I'm jealous of the time they spend talking and sleeping together. They slept together! Twice! (In the same bed, yes, but he claims there was no touching, maybe a little cuddling. What the fuck is that shit?! He's 6'2", 240 lbs. He sleeps in a long twin bed for God's sake! The only way there could even be a "little cuddling" is if one of them slept on the floor next to the bed. NR - she's an attractive girl. Friendly. I'd go as far as to say even bubbly, personalitywise. And big cans. Hella big. And a tattoo right on top of her cleavage! I wouldn't blame him if he went after her. But not even before she moves in!! I've lived with boyfriend and girlfriend, and it's not fun all the time. A lot of the time I felt out of place. Like I lived with them in their place. Who wants to feel like a guest in their own home? He flirts shamelessly (his female coworker friends admit to me) with girls at work, yet he passes it off as "just being friendly." He tells me, "I'm bored, what can I say?" He doesn't see it as 'hitting on' them. And I don't know if that's just the way he is or what. This is a new Mike. He's gotten some confidence with women. And it's not necessarily a bad thing. I'm happy for the guy. But this is the wrong time and the wrong circumstance, and it's making me feel awkward and unwelcome. "So make yourself included!", I've been told. What am I, the wedge that separates their sexual chemistry? Besides, I'm not looking to be their respective best friends, but I'm also not looking to be pushed out of my own apartment. If I go to them, I can see where I come off like the asshole. I'm either too sensitive, or being a jerk. And what if it goes bad? And why can't I stop thinking about this? And my stomach hurts. But I'm pretty sure that's unrelated. And my GOD do the Cubs suck. Good Christ-y Lord, do they suck. 2:26 p.m. - 2001-09-10 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
||||||
|
||||||