meximick's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- misery day My office is buzzing with useless activity today. People from around the country are flying in to Chicago today to attend the yearly midwest sales conference and I couldn't be more filled with a feeling of dead-eyed uselessness. Boss gave me two Cubs tickets yesterday. A VP came into town and didn't feel like going, so I said I'd take them, since the season's almost over and I love going to Wrigley Field. When I got home, I didn't even feel like going because no one I knew was around, and if I went to the ballpark to try to scalp them, I would have to do far too much walking, and I was in no mood for that garbage. I even offered both tickets for free to my pleasant upstairs gay neighbor, but he didn't feel much like going. I sat on the couch awhile, being bored until I heard Kerry Wood was pitching. By this time the game was in the 2nd inning. I grabbed a jacket and got in a cab and was in my seat by the 3rd - field seats, 3 rows back of the Phillies dugout, surrounded by serious-minded baseball fans listening to the game on small radios, drunk assholes who think that talking shit to the opposing team is funny, and annoying small children squealing for souvenir baseballs from guys they think are players, but who were actually baseball coaches. It was the second game I saw this week - I've had a pretty good week so far - and it ruled. Cubs 1-0. So, sales conference today @ a fancy downtown hotel. All attendees will be divided into 4 teams and we will discuss the future of financial data implementation and our individual roles within that vision. I feel like stabbing myself before I get there, so I can stumble in to the meeting, holding my bleeding wound, while my coworkers look on in horror, begging to call me an ambulance. The blood seeps out of my body, my face turning pale as I drift towards systemic shock, I'll just say, "No thanks. This is the only place I have ever wanted to be. Did I miss the CFO speak?" That might be a small improvement on what I expect out of this afternoon.
I'm just not a good bullshitter. If I'm not having a good time, there is no way I can't not express that. I might not say anything aloud, but it'll definitely show on my face. I don't do well in situations in which I don't know many people. I tend to not talk and just listen to others' conversations, but even that sometimes gets boring - especially when I couldn't care less about company talk or real estate or what Zagat's says about a restaurant. I think I'm going to limit my conversation at this conference to a few select appropriate phrases: "Yes, absolutely!" "No, not at all!" "Nice to meet you" "I agree!" "I think you're probably right about that!" "Where's the bar?" "Who died and fucking left you God?" "Can you believe what an asshole that guy is?" "Thank God for free booze!" "I can't believe my support undergarment failed me again! I'm so humiliated.." [said quietly to self] I'm off now to what I just found out may well be the most awful eight hours of my life. 13:39:20 - 2000-09-28 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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