meximick's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Name of bowling team: either Satan's Minions of Darkness or The Pony and Unicorn Friendship Squad So I started my bowling league yesterday, and it rocked hard like Slayer on crystal meth. Of course I was just terrible. It was as if I had never ever even seen a bowling ball or been exposed to earth's gravity. It was probably due to the numerous beers I drank beforehand. And the rounds that the other team was buying my team. And they were refusing to let us buy them drinks! The bowling league has instantly become an intricate world of Machiavellian underhanded backroom dealings where to gain status and power, you get the other team drunk so they will not bowl well. Well, I'll only play by their rules for so long, and then they shall all know the sting of my bowling ball hitting them on their heads and the clamp of handcuffs on my wrists as I am taken to jail for assault with a deadly weapon. So I guess that plan is out.Oh, dammit! I just had a damn bagel disaster. So now I have jelly on my desk and its probably going to make my shirt stained and sticky. And I tried to pick it up with a kleenex, but that just made the jelly blob angry and spread out everywhere. Great, and now my keyboard is sticky too, and what am I supposed to do now? Dump water on it? Can that ever be good for electronics? Already today sucks. All is lost. Oh, and I just paid $3.50 for a 16 oz apple cider downstairs when I just bought a gallon of it yesterday for $2.99. What can I say - society consistantly reinforces in me that I am simply a consumer, merely a conveyance for money, existing only to move it from one place to another. And who uses thermoses nowadays anyway? Losers, that's who. I have a theory that everything is made better by adding sesame seeds to it. Except sleeping. Or coughing fits. So far today I've listened to "Loveless" by My Bloody Valentine 3 times and it rocks pretty well. So I just got to the bottom of my cup o' cider and it was an awful tasting last gulp because it had like skin and seeds and pure, distilled evil at the bottom, so it made me gag. And when people come up to me and say, "Hey, you loser, why don't you do something with your life. You loser." I can just say to them, "Well, I'm not a loser because I'm in a bowling league, you jackass." And you know what? Those people will be right, and I'll probably cry because they called me a loser, and hey man, words can hurt. 13:26:42 - 2000-10-02 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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