meximick's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- rationalization Well so much for that one date... I thought it was fairly successful for a first date. Sushi and good conversation. I think I talked too much. I also sweat too much, and that day was in the 80s, and she decided to walk back to her place. We stopped to grab coffee halfway there, but it was another 20+ minute walk to her place. Left her a message last thursday that I'd be free monday & tuesday, but no callback. I don't think I want to even try to call again. My guess is that she is so nice that she doesn't want to call me back to tell me she's not interested. I wouldn't want to make that call either. The day after, I was chatting with this other girl I kinda know, and the conversation went a little long - longer than usual - and I thought for a moment if I should ask her to do something. Didn't. I'll see her again on campus though. Of course I'll also be seeing the sushi chick around campus. She'll be attending in the fall. There's also a teacher I met during my last semester internship who I found out was interested in me. In June, she gave me her number on the last day and said she'd like to get to know me better. I have not called her. I'm not interested in her, and I also want to be there next spring, and its a small school, and...... I would just like to see someone I don't have to see everyday - someone who is not involved in something I need to be a part of like my school program or somewhere I work. Because if things go bad between us and I have to see/work with this person regularly, that would be bad. I'm pessimistic like that. Its been 6 weeks or more since I've seen my counselor. I've been talking to her since february. Since my schedule was more irregular, I canceled my weekly appointments, planning to reschedule. I never did, but I'll call tomorrow. I miss talking with her. Sometimes I don't know what I'm getting out of it other than just venting. But she sometimes comes up with some nice interventions and gets me to think about things differently. I have so much to think about and deal with that not having any social life is one less thing to think about. And that is what mental health professionals refer to as the defense mechanism of rationalization. 11:19 p.m. - 2008-08-11 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
||||||
|
||||||