meximick's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- I'll have the Shepard's Pie and relationship angst, please. Just got back from lunch with the girl. I met the girl through my friend Tara. Today, me and the girl talked about me and Tara. Specifically how I don't randomly call or email her anymore. How our relationship has changed since we started going out. And how me and Tara sometimes bicker, and how we didn't use to do that before. And I keep thinking what a bad friend I am. I hate analyzing friendships. I don't talk to Mike about how me and Tara are growing apart; how I'm concerned we don't act the same around each other as we did before I got in a relationship. We just don't. I keep thinking I'm to blame, but then again, I'm not sure. Is she being too sensitive? Am I being too insensitive? Are friendships really this complicated and I have just failed to realize this over my 25 years? Why don't I have an answer? Why can't I fix this problem? Do I care? I guess pre-the girl days, Tara was my non-sexual girlfriend. I'd call her randomly during the day to see what she was doing later. We'd hang out. She'd ask me questions girls ask guys about the things we do. I'd give her my thoughts on the guy from work she was seeing. I based it on the postulate: "Guys are stupid." So I met the girl in March. Since then, I've chosen to pick up the phone and chat with the girl rather than Tara. And in the beginning, Tara told us that she might need a little adjustment time to get used to her best guy friend and her best girlfriend dating. And then she said she was better. Occasionally, we have bickered. Been short with each other. Tara mentioned the other day, kind of offhand, "I guess had to spend more time with Mike to get the attention you used to give me." I believe my response was along the lines of, "Ok then." So I saw it more or less as comment that was maybe 80% kidding and 20% truthful. So I more or less ignored it. But I think now she was more serious than kidding. What's the answer here? Why are friendships so complicated allasudden? The girl raised the issue. Then said she felt bad she'd brought it up. I was pretty confused (I obviously still am). I told her I don't have the answers. I don't know how to fix this problem. She seems to think I do... 2:10 p.m. - 2001-09-05 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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